Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
