it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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