Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
