Pappa wants mamma naked
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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