READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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