I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
