ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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