Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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