yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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