I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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