The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it's like iHOP with fire
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
