i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize