Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
