i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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