At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My penis needs a shock collar
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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