I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
