Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
