Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
