So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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