True but thats because hes a fetus.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
