so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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