dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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