you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
