You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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