i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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