And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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