Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
