it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
