Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
