from now on my penis is your penis
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
