bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
They left me at home... I'm a liability
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
