I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
