by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize