so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
