my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
