HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
