please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
