you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
