i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
