There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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