Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
