wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
