I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
