went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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