Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
