Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
