Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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