I seem to have left my pride at pride
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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