I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
