I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
