where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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