I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
