very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
