I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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