so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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