Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize