Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
