No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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