do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
