i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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