I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
