I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She bit a glass in half.
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I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
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I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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