Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
